Personal Blog


For my male readers, do not bounce! The article has something for you, too. No male bashing. Okay, with that disclaimer out the way, let’s charge full steam ahead.

My initial intent was to talk about the male gender —to discuss the need for us women to find “Prince Charming” and all the possible reasons why the “Cinderella” dream never really pans out. As I sat to write, my mind took me along a different path; I realized, as I hope you would too, that there is no perfect man. In this instance, I am referring to humans.

Somewhere along the line, we got caught up in a notion that we all need to be living “purfeccct” lives. Social media is a prime example. Ever recognize that most people only post their best times and best smiles... wearing their best outfits, hanging out with their best friends, and vacationing in the best spots? These are the same people who are missing from social media when their “life” happens. Because we all know that real life includes the breakups, the divorce, the miscarriage, the job loss, the overdraft account, the depression. Should I continue?

Don’t get me wrong, we can be happy. The issue, however, are the lies we tell ourselves to maintain the consistent aura of happiness.

There is so much fallacy in the notion of constantly showing everyone that we’ve got it all-together. Reason being, it prevents us from expressing our true selves — even to our damn self. I see people, myself included, going around pretending to be fine, as if we are holding up a poster that says, “Watch me. Watch me living my best life ever!”

So, how do we to get back to us... to stop pretending and face some hard truths about ourselves? Well, there are no easy answers to any of this.

We can start, by ridding ourselves of the unrealistic aspiration to be “purfeccct”.

The hope is, that we can all attain a “heaven” like state of mind.

Which simply means:

A mental place, where we are not bogged down from too many unnecessary issues. A mental place, where we feel safe to release the “knots in our stomach,”

the lumps in our throats.

To this end, here are some tips to help us to release:

1) Write down the top five things that occupy your mind daily.

2) Then ask yourself, are any of the top five things causing discomfort in your life?

3) What steps should you take to lessen the discomfort?

4) Do you need family, friends or professional support to work through the issues?

5) Are you willing to make a change or comfortable with the way how things are?

All in all, let’s try to take the time to declutter our minds.

For my 80’s readers; sing along with me, as we write down our top five things to sort through!

Feel free to share your one item from your list in the comments section below.

89 views0 comments

How you guys have been? Being cooped up in the apartment or house has really set a toll on our mental health and the uncertainty of life is wreaking havoc on our nerves. We have all this time on our hands now and it seems to be driving many of us crazy!

So, in light of present conditions, I decided to use this month’s blog to talk about ways to utilize our time –or more so, this lock down.

First, I want to acknowledge all those who may have lost a loved one or know of someone who has. I pray for your comfort during this time, and for those ready to start the grief recovery process, the following support groups might be helpful:

Second, please follow the “Stay at Home” warnings. Remember that some individuals are asymptomatic; therefore, the mandate on social distancing is the best way to “flatten" the curve and reduce the number of cases... or deaths.

For all my overachieving and Type-A personality readers, this Instagram meme is for you.

I fully agree with the meme because it’s funny and practical. Do not beat yourself up if you are being a “couch potato” right now. Give your mind a “Kit Kat” break.

The Center for Disease and Control posted up a few coping stress recommendations:

§ Take breaks from watching, reading or listening to news stories, including social media. Hearing about the pandemic, repeatedly can be upsetting.

§ Take deep breaths. stretch. My Dad had morning ritual in which he stretches. I recently started adopting the practice. I notice my muscles were more relaxed.

§ Try to eat healthy, well balance meals (operative word is “trying”).

§ Exercise regularly (CDC recommendations, I think my doctor must write this on a prescription pad for me …LOL).

§ Get plenty of sleep – okay I got that covered.

§ Avoid alcohol and drugs.

§ Make time to unwind. For me, I downloaded the Disney app and revisited all my childhood cartoons. Hakuna Matata anyone?

Consider connecting with loved ones – telephone, email, mailing letters or cards, text message or video chat.

All in all, do what you need to do to stay sane, folks!

Be safe and let me know your COVID-19 routine in the comments below.

Edited by DHBonner


116 views4 comments