Personal Blog


Updated: Apr 17, 2020

Recently, I was talking to one of my besties, and she was complaining about the actions of someone she knows. During the conversation, I mentioned that everyone has “a thang." This response puzzled her, and she retorted, "What that got to do with anything?”

I explained that everyone has a behavior or trait that irks the hell out of someone, and then I gently pointed out some of her annoying habits. NO ONE is exempt from having a “thang." After we both laughed, I began to consider this blog topic...That Thang

Now, the Urban Dictionary has a fitting description for the word "thang":

“Slang word for thing. Also used to replace the proper word for any object.” It is usually used in place of those things as a means to be discrete about.”

Are you in denial about your “thang”? Denial will cause us to mask or hide stuff we don’t want to confront. Typically, people who consume themselves with other peoples' business have the most skeletons in the closet. It's like a coping mechanism to not to confront their own crap!

Then, some put their "thang" on a scale. Those in this category often say, well, my “thang” is not that bad. I "ain’t no murderer or thief." True, but using this excuse will not remove the negative impact it has on your life.

On the other hand, some of us recognize our stuff, yet give up on changing or improving it. People who handle their “thang” this way will usually say, "that's just the way I am." Now, do not get me wrong; I am in no way encouraging you to change for people because that is a sure recipe for disaster. Never be a people pleaser; however, if your “thang” brings harm to you or others – and “thangs” are usually harmful – consider changing or adjusting it.

The real question is, how are we to address our individual "thangs"? .Be honest (I suggest that you stand in front of a mirror) and ask yourself these vital questions:

- Does my “thang” stifle my personal growth?

- Does my “thang” cause me physical, emotional, or financial pain to me or those around me?

- Does my “thang” runs in my family history?

My personal “thang” is procrastination. This often leads me to feel a sense of guilt because I am not accomplishing my goals – a prime example was when I was writing this blog (LOL). Mind you, I was supposed to have completed it two weeks ago, but I wasted my time on social media or other frivolous activities.

So, here are some helpful tips I have used to control my “thang”:

1) Write stuff down. Get a journal or use your smartphone to set reminders

2) Buy a whiteboard and list five main action items to complete for the week

3) Remove distractions, such as the phone or television, or that friend who always calls you to gossip

4) Get an accountability partner

5) Celebrate small achievements

Remember this:

“You shouldn't be upset if you find out that you're bad at

something—you should be happy that you found out, because knowing that and dealing with it will improve your chances of getting what you want.”

― Ray Dalio, Principles: Life and Work

So, what am I getting at? Whatever your “thang” is, acknowledge it, confront it, decide to take the necessary steps to change it, and then – most importantly – CONQUER IT!

Let me know your thoughts in the comment section and I hope that you’ll use these tips as support for igniting change in your life.

Edited by DHBonner

125 views0 comments

Updated: Jan 19, 2020

We are off to a new year, a fresh start for 2020.  If you are anything like me, you did not make the proverbial “New Year’s Resolution”.  Even if I had wanted to, I was so sick with the flu that instead of going out, I was laid up on my couch. 

As I laid on the couch, with the remote in one hand and NyQuil in the other, I came across the movie Flatliners. Thank God for Amazon Fire Stick! I thought to myself, this seems like a creepy suspense/horror movie and thought, “what the heck! Why not?” 

So, a quick synopsis of the movie (will include spoilers if you haven’t seen it yet): It is a 1990 remake about a group of five medical students who embark on seeking to know what happens in the afterlife. Like really? 

The main character Courtney begins the “crossover”.  When she comes back from the “afterlife’, she appears to have all these “powers”.  Meaning, her senses are heightened. She comes back super, super smart! Courtney’s genius spurt entices her other class mates, Sophia, Jamie and Marlo to give it a try. 

All is well, until some creepy crap start happening.  In Courtney’s case, her sister died in car crash because she was texting and driving.  Her sister’s ghost starts to haunt her.  Sophia was mean to a girl in high school and the girl starts to haunt her as well.  Jamie (handsome by the way) forced a woman to have an abortion.  The baby and mother start to haunt him.  There is a scene with him on the boat being haunted by them… I was like “hell no” ……in a Madea voice!

So, the plot went on to reveal a series of this time I placed the T.V on mute.  

Whatever, I am a punk! 

 Courtney, the main character died, or should I say killed herself!  The others all have near death experiences.  Which leads the handsome guy Jamie, to say “Somehow we’ve brought our sins back physically, and they are pissed”. 

And as quirky as that movie line was, it got me to thinking on how sometimes in our own lives we haunt our own selves.  Bringing back things from the past; “stuff” that we ought to throw in the “sea of forgetfulness”. 

Okay, so let me get back to the show, in the end, Jamie went on a mission to right his wrong.  He went looking for the woman that he made abort the child.  In a plot twist, he finds out the woman is not dead.  He is actually a father of a five-year-old son.  And just like that the “haunting” STOPS. 

Sophia apologizes to the girl from her high school and she was no longer haunted by the so-called spirit.  In the end all of these “paranormal” activities were a working of their own guilty conscience.  

So, let us relate this to real we start a new decade in 2020; how can we clean out the closets of our minds?  Forgive ourselves of the past wrongs we made and make peace with ourselves?  

Here are a few I have tried: 

1) Reach out to those people or situations that you need to get closure on.  If these persons or situations are unreachable, write yourself a letter and apologize to them. 

2)Write down daily self-affirmations … You can try post it notes.  

3)Talk to a professional…yes … not your girlfriend or your barber. Seek a therapist, a counselor or someone who is not in your circle and is trained. 

4)Pray …mediate ...just release the damn thing.

5) FORGIVE YOURSELF. That is the main idea!

It is my hope that as we start to unpack the emotional baggage that holds us back, that we refuse to be “flatlined” by our fears and live the best 2020 we possibly can! 

What have you tried…do you want to?

Leave a comment below...……...

Edited by S. Thompson

#lifelessons #growing #plants

143 views2 comments