Updated: Apr 17, 2020

Recently, I was talking to one of my besties, and she was complaining about the actions of someone she knows. During the conversation, I mentioned that everyone has “a thang." This response puzzled her, and she retorted, "What that got to do with anything?”

I explained that everyone has a behavior or trait that irks the hell out of someone, and then I gently pointed out some of her annoying habits. NO ONE is exempt from having a “thang." After we both laughed, I began to consider this blog topic...That Thang

Now, the Urban Dictionary has a fitting description for the word "thang":

“Slang word for thing. Also used to replace the proper word for any object.” It is usually used in place of those things as a means to be discrete about.”

Are you in denial about your “thang”? Denial will cause us to mask or hide stuff we don’t want to confront. Typically, people who consume themselves with other peoples' business have the most skeletons in the closet. It's like a coping mechanism to not to confront their own crap!

Then, some put their "thang" on a scale. Those in this category often say, well, my “thang” is not that bad. I "ain’t no murderer or thief." True, but using this excuse will not remove the negative impact it has on your life.

On the other hand, some of us recognize our stuff, yet give up on changing or improving it. People who handle their “thang” this way will usually say, "that's just the way I am." Now, do not get me wrong; I am in no way encouraging you to change for people because that is a sure recipe for disaster. Never be a people pleaser; however, if your “thang” brings harm to you or others – and “thangs” are usually harmful – consider changing or adjusting it.

The real question is, how are we to address our individual "thangs"? .Be honest (I suggest that you stand in front of a mirror) and ask yourself these vital questions:

- Does my “thang” stifle my personal growth?

- Does my “thang” cause me physical, emotional, or financial pain to me or those around me?

- Does my “thang” runs in my family history?

My personal “thang” is procrastination. This often leads me to feel a sense of guilt because I am not accomplishing my goals – a prime example was when I was writing this blog (LOL). Mind you, I was supposed to have completed it two weeks ago, but I wasted my time on social media or other frivolous activities.

So, here are some helpful tips I have used to control my “thang”:

1) Write stuff down. Get a journal or use your smartphone to set reminders

2) Buy a whiteboard and list five main action items to complete for the week

3) Remove distractions, such as the phone or television, or that friend who always calls you to gossip

4) Get an accountability partner

5) Celebrate small achievements

Remember this:

“You shouldn't be upset if you find out that you're bad at

something—you should be happy that you found out, because knowing that and dealing with it will improve your chances of getting what you want.”

― Ray Dalio, Principles: Life and Work

So, what am I getting at? Whatever your “thang” is, acknowledge it, confront it, decide to take the necessary steps to change it, and then – most importantly – CONQUER IT!

Let me know your thoughts in the comment section and I hope that you’ll use these tips as support for igniting change in your life.

Edited by DHBonner

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